Our mother was an avid
"scrapbook journalist" with regard to her life, family, and many
varied interests. Thus, in addition to our own recollections, we will
attempt to convey a sense of Inez Cochran through her own writings and
memorabilia. The following paragraphs are incomplete and lacking…sort of
like a puzzle with missing pieces. It is our hope, however, that the
picture is complete enough to recognize the strength, talent, and
character that we were fortunate enough to experience firsthand.
Without a doubt, the most important facet of Inez’s
life in her eyes was her family. She often discussed the fact that doctors
told her early in her marriage that she could never have children. It was
a traumatic experience for a few years, and fortunately for us, an
incorrect diagnosis. Bill was born May 6, 1952, less than a month after
Inez’s 26th birthday. Dave came along three years later on
August 1, 1955. She was so thrilled when "Billy" was born that
she kept a small journal during his early years of childhood. Her notes
include lists of childhood firsts (outdoors – 4 weeks, smile – 5
weeks, crept – 4 ½ months, tooth – 6 months, etc.) along with such
observations as "very strong – and a real climber". By the
time David arrived she was no less enthusiastic, just busier. Still, she
managed to find enough time to note that "David says he eats ‘leggenchick’
instead of chicken leg, draws ‘sedigns’ instead of designs, and eats
‘seddert’ instead of dessert." Throughout our early years, Inez
was a devoted mother...sometimes over-protective, often very nervous, but
always focused on what she thought was best for her children. Beginning in
our teen years, a series of unpleasant events (health problems, divorce,
and the struggle for economic survival) interfered with the type of home
life that Inez had worked so hard to provide. Both sons grew up, married,
and moved away. Family contact was reduced to phone calls and holidays.
Finally, after retirement, she was able to spend the kind of time with her
children and grandchildren that she had largely missed out on for over
twenty years. Her last three years in particular provided opportunities to
visit Bill and Diane in Montana, move to Indiana to be near Dave and
Cheryl, and participate in the lives of her grandchildren and
step-grandchildren. Though Inez had many friends, many interests, and many
responsibilities, she always considered raising her children to have been
her most important job and her greatest success.
In a word, Inez’s greatest interest was simply - people.
Besides keeping track of and in touch with a normally sized but highly
distributed family, she was able to maintain many friendships from a
wide variety of social circles. An inventory of the groups of people she
stayed in contact with is impressive, much less a count of individuals.
Besides the usual few close personal friends there were church friends,
and office friends (including other Soil Conservation Service offices
from all around the state), and bakery "coffee klatch"
friends, and old Swea City friends from her youth, and apartment
building friends, and old neighborhood friends, and so on. It would be
easy to conclude, but inaccurate, that most of these relationships must
have been fairly superficial. In fact, most of these friendships were
built up in small, tightly knit communities (most notably Swea City and
New Hampton, Iowa) over long periods of time. For most of the people in
the above groups, Inez could tell you the names and approximate ages of
their spouses and children, what their interests were, the good things
that have happened in their lives, and the bad. Like many of us, she
might have occasionally forgotten where she left her keys or how to work
her VCR, but unlike most of us, she never forgot someone’s personal
story. Her closest circle of friends was really more of an extended
family. This was especially true after she was divorced and her kids
moved away. Inez was one of the youngest and most active of a group of
single women (mostly elderly widows) that watched out for and supported
each other.
Other than family and friends, music played the
most consistent and significant role of any influence in Inez’s life.
The connections include:
- a lifelong talent for creating music (choir,
contralto solo, and clarinet in school, vocal & bell choirs,
organ, and piano in church, and piano and vocals at more social
gatherings than some professional musicians),
- one of her longest adult friendships (with her
High School music teacher – Shirley Samson (now Shirley Harty of
Des Moines, IA),
- her most treasured collection of records,
tapes, and compact disks that were nearly always playing in her
home.
Inez’s musical tastes were very wide ranging,
but classical and popular music were undoubtedly her favorites. Strauss,
Dvorak, Irving Berlin, the Jackie Gleason Orchestra, Natalie Cole, Yanni,
and even such eclectic titles as Morning Song Birds, and Chants of
Benedictine Monks were all welcome and listened to components of her
extensive CD collection.
Other personal interests throughout life included:
- Books – An avid reader of both fiction and
non-fiction, Inez was particularly fond of romance novels and
horoscopes. She would read virtually every night, often until the
early morning hours. Her love of books also translated into a strong
support for libraries. Inez worked as a volunteer at the New Hampton
Public Library and donated many books throughout the years. In
addition, she offered what money she could afford (from a modest
single income) to help build the new library building. Though all of
Inez’s children and grandchildren share this affection for books
and libraries, it has always been most apparent in her eldest son,
Bill. As a young child, he was an avid reader and collector of books
and by early adulthood, he opted up to became a librarian (currently
director of the Parmly Billings Library in Billings Montana). Inez
followed his career very closely, and his choice of professions was
a source of great satisfaction to her.
- Travel – Beginning shortly after high school
and continuing through most of her marriage, Inez traveled the
mid-western and western United States fairly regularly (for that
period of time). Some of the travel related to family (her parents
and brother lived near Seattle and her in-laws lived near Phoenix).
Many trips were relatively short (Des Moines, Rochester,
Minneapolis, Cedar Rapids, Iowa City, Chicago, and many more) and
often were a mixture of business for Joe (her husband) and a
vacation for the family. Though Inez never ventured beyond Canada
and Mexico, she read a great deal about and often discussed
traveling to Europe, particularly areas of antiquity such as Rome
and Athens. With her Norwegian heritage (the offspring of a Larson
and a Bergeson), Inez also occasionally talked about visiting
Scandinavia. In later years, however, she seemed content to watch
travel shows and read about foreign places. Always a nervous
traveler and possessing only a grudging tolerance for airplanes,
Inez commented more than once that she may have enjoyed dreaming
about distant places far more than actually traveling to them.
- Art & Craft – Several times throughout
her life, Inez dabbled with sketching and painting. She preferred
watercolors, and was known to have a fondness for
Claude Monet
renditions of water lilies. (As a side note, it became a source of
humor to her that a mildly expressed interest in Monet water lilies
converted into a theme for many of her gifts for the next several
birthdays, Christmases, etc. She had Monet prints, posters, diaries,
books, and probably would have had an "I Love Monet"
bumper sticker if it had been available around Mother’s Day. After
that experience, she tended to be a bit more cautious about
expressing too much interest in her little ceramic duck collection
or her teapots, or … Once she actually received two or three
little pigs – including one that was battery powered and could
wander around her living room – before it was discovered that she
hadn’t even been the one who mentioned liking pigs.) In addition
to painting, Inez occasionally experimented with other forms of
expression such as ceramics and crocheting.
- Entertaining – Having come from a time and a
culture that held social traditions – especially holidays – in
high regard, Inez believed strongly in organized social gatherings.
She loved to plan (though was often too busy and tense to really
enjoy) holiday gatherings, birthday parties, theme dinners,
afternoon coffee gatherings, and any other event that involved
people, food, music, and conversation. Two things Inez often
bemoaned about the younger generation were the loss of innocence
(which she also regarded as a loss of romance), and the lack of
social skills (or even the desire to formally interact with other
people).
- Royalty – Perhaps as the ultimate extension
of the above views on romance and formal entertainment, Inez always
maintained a fascination about the British Royal Family, other less
notable Kings and Queens, and American Presidents and First Ladies.
She briefly subscribed to a magazine devoted to the British Royal
Family, collected paper doll books with royal costumes and First
Lady Inaugural dresses, and amassed a fair collection of Princess
Diana books and memorabilia after her untimely demise.
- All Things Norwegian – Being a full blooded
Norwegian (albeit second generation American) and growing up in Swea
City, a small town whose name is even Scandinavian, Inez was
strongly influenced by Norwegian culture. This mostly showed up in
our household as decorative painted horses, insider jokes about
Lutheran Church women, lefse, and a propensity to say "Uff-Da".
On the more serious side, Inez’s religious, social,
and political views included:
- Feminism – Inez was an early and vocal
believer that the world was (and still is) a male dominated place
with a vested interest in keeping women in subservient and dependent
roles. For all of her nostalgia about earlier days where women were
skilled at homemaking and social skills, she did not believe women
today should trust and rely on men for income. This belief became
stronger and more than a little bitter after her divorce and those
of several close friends. This view was not helped by spending most
of her working life in a variety of jobs never making more than a
fraction of her boss’s income (or often even her male peers).
- Conservation – Though she always had an
interest in nature (particularly trees and birds) , Inez’s late
life career with the U.S. Soil Conservation Service cemented a very
strong belief in environmental protection and improved resource
conservation. Even after retirement, Inez continued to volunteer her
time to the government office that had helped her so much at a
crucial time in her life, and that she had devoted herself to for
nearly twenty years.
- Church – Though raised within the Lutheran
Church in Swea City, Iowa, Inez switched to the Methodist Church
shortly after she was married. Throughout her life, she was
generally active in church affairs ranging from singing in the choir
and playing the organ to serving on the board of directors and many
committees.
- Republican/Democrat – Inez commented in
recent years that she was a registered Republican and always assumed
she held conservative beliefs, but was surprised to discover that
she disliked most Republican Presidents and platform planks in
recent years. She particularly disliked Ronald Reagan for a variety
of reasons (not the least of which was his antipathy toward both the
feminist and environmental movements). After 18 years of civil
service and additional years of volunteer service, the Newt Gingrich
/ Rush Limbaugh message that we have a mostly corrupt and
incompetent federal government did not play well in her household.
She also thought that men should have little say in abortion issues,
and that most recent tax relief was actually a scam to reward the
wealthy. Her favorite presidents in recent years were Jimmy Carter
and George Bush, mostly because neither was an extremist and both
were civil, well mannered people.
As indicated above, it is not possible to capture
the essence of a person in a few pages. Still, it has been a pleasure
for us to provide this glimpse into the life and personality of Inez
Cochran for other family, friends, and future generations to remember
and enjoy.
Written by Bill
and Dave Cochran. |
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